Tempting
by Shkeerka
Summary: One shot of D&S and a bit of Andrew. This is what i do when possessed to write. R&R folks.


I don't know why I'm so nervous. Standing in the hotel bathroom I can't help but feel the shakiness of my hands as I tie the last part of my costume together. I use the word costume because that's how it feels. The mirror reflects someone I still can't believe is actually me. She looks beautiful with her long blond curls and large blue eyes. The getup Rei made me buy for tonight looks too revealing all of the sudden. I wish I had worn something else.

"Serena?" he asks from the other side of the door. He sounds nervous. I have been in here for the past half hour.

"I'm almost ready" I call out. I still don't feel right about this. I should be ready he's given me enough time. He's been patient, waited till we were married. He even made it through my father's many interrogations but still here I am a nervous wreck.

"Come out, Serena" he says. He's closer this time on the other side of the door. I can't make him wait any longer.

"Hey" I say when I step through the open door. I can't help but look into those patient sky blue eyes. He's waited so long for this, all because I wasn't ready. I don't know why I wasn't ready. I don't know why I'm still not ready but I can't tell him that.

"You look beautiful" he says as he moves closer. His hands skim over the exposed skin on my arms. "I'm so glad we're finally ready" he says as he lowers his blond head to kiss my lips. I let him kiss me deeply. I even try to respond, but I don't quite manage it. He's used to this reaction, probably blames it on inexperience, if he only knew the truth. I hope he never does.

"Andrew" I start to say but he silences me with more kisses. I want to pull away, more than anything I want to pull away. He doesn't know this, of course. He would never make me do this if he knew. He's much too good a man to make me do this and he loves me way too much so I let him believe that I feel the same way. I sigh into the kiss. He's gentle about it; I always knew he would be.

After it's finished I cry a little. He tries his best to comfort me, he says he's sorry he hurt me but my tears aren't about a little discomfort. They're about something else altogether. I pretend I'm okay. I pretend I love him. I pretend that's what I do best. I pretend.

Two weeks later, we come home. The word doesn't sound right when I say it, when I think it. Home. Home means Andrew's old apartment, except now I've tried to bunch my few possessions into it. He says he doesn't mind, he never minds anything. He always forgives my coldness, my inexperience, my not being able to love him. How can he know? I've never said anything. How can I?

"It's so good to be home" he says as he kisses me the morning after we've come back. He has to work today, and I can hardly wait for him to leave. He's a good man, really he is, and he's good to me but I can't help but feel tired. For two weeks I've had to pretend to love him. How will I be able to do this for the rest of my life, I don't know.

"You don't want to be late" I say as I hand him his lunch. I've learned how to cook; I've tried my best to make up for my heartlessness.

"I'm so lucky to have you" he says with a wide grin as he heads out with a final kiss to my lips.

I want to cry. I want to scream and throw things. I hate myself. I don't do any of those things. I smile back at him and wave goodbye. He leaves.

We form a pattern. I shop, I clean, I cook the meals and he loves me, appreciates me and loves me. He makes me feel special. He's a wonderful husband and I desperately try to hide the fact that I'm a terrible wife. I busy myself with housework and when that doesn't do enough I get a job. He says I don't have to but he doesn't understand how much I need it, how much I need to be away from him.

That's where I meet Darien. My job requires little concentration and a lot of scurrying about after a man. All I do day in and day out is take care of the men in my life. I make coffee for my husband at home and do the same for my new boss. Although, if I have to be honest I'd have to admit that Andrew is far easier to impress than the man who comes in with a scowl on his face. Nothing's ever good enough for Darien.

"Mrs. Furuhata" he says through the intercom. His voice tells me I did something wrong again.

"Yes, Mr. Shields" I respond quickly. I try to keep my voice from shaking. It doesn't work.

"Please come in here" he says and a shiver runs along my spine.

He's sitting behind his large mahogany desk when I enter his office. Pinstripe suit, polished black shoes, and jet black hair that manages to fall into his eyes every so often, that's the sight I see when I come into his office. He's the most handsome man I've ever met and I can't help but to look. I have to constantly remind myself that I'm a happily married woman, even if the happily part is a lie. I've made my vows and I intend to keep them.

"Yes, sir" I say softly, notepad in hand ready to fill out any order he has for me.

"I'd like to begin" he says looking at me for a moment; his eyes make my skin blush. I can't help the way I react. I've tried to deny it but I can't. He notices and looks back down. "I ah I" he stutters for a moment and runs his hand through his dark hair. I can't help but wonder how that feels. I've been itching to touch that hair since I met him. It's a sinful thought and I stifle it. "I would like to begin a letter" he finally finishes but doesn't look up again. He starts talking and I jot down everything as quickly as I can. His use of words still surprises me, he doesn't say anything unless he means it, only using the fewest words he needs to get his point across.

"Is that all, sir?" I ask after the letter is finished. I know I'll have to write it up just as quickly. He likes things done right when he needs them. He doesn't want to be kept waiting.

"Yes" he says looking up at me. It's a mistake I can tell. I blush again and he scowls. His eyes darken for a moment and travel down my simple black pant suit. I wonder what he sees. Andrew tells me that I'm beautiful but I don't know if I believe him anymore, he is my husband and he's obligated to love me no matter what. How do I look to this man? "That's all," he says and looks back down to his paperwork. I stumble out of the office blindly. I can't help it. This is too tempting being so close to that man will drive me insane.

Two months pass by and the tension tears at me. I don't know how he's feeling, other than his temper flaring at the oddest moments. He's always so infuriated with everything I do. I try to do what he wants but I can't help it. Nothing pleases him. Andrew starts to worry. I have nightmares, I tell him when he asks but they're nothing like that. The dreams I have of my boss, the reason I call out his name in my sleep is because he comes to me every night and I can't take it anymore.

"Mr. Shields" I say as I head straight to his office. I have been putting this off for the longest time and I can't anymore.

"Yes?" he says not looking up. He doesn't look at me much anymore. When he does my breath catches in my throat and I start blubbering like an idiot and blushing.

"Here's my two weeks' notice" I say as I slide the piece of paper onto his desk.

"What" his head snaps up with a crunch. I think he might have pulled something but his face doesn't show any pain, just surprise.

"Have I done something to make you quit?" he asks suddenly nervous. I can't imagine him feeling that way. He's temperamental but who isn't?

"No sir. This is a personal decision" I say. Personal as in I won't be able to keep my hands off him any longer. I don't want to be tempted anymore.

"I see" he says quietly. I wish I could hear his thoughts. His face is so hard to read. "I'm sorry to hear that," he says keeping our eyes locked.

I wish I could turn away, I wish this didn't feel like the end of something important. I wish it were just a job but it's not and I'm a foolish woman because I can't help but look at this man and want him, more than any man I've ever met. I flush red and turn away. I hide out at my desk for the rest of the day.

"Serena" when his voice rings out over the intercom I think I've almost made it through the day, almost.

"Yes, sir" I say into the device.

"Please come in here" he says, his voice sounds softer somehow.

"What else can I do for you?" I ask as I make my way to his office. He isn't behind that large desk. He's standing near the window that shows an amazing view of the sunset. I can't help but catch my breath as the light plays with his features.

"I'm going to miss you" he says as he walks toward me.

He reaches for a strand of my hair. The touch sends shivers to my spine. I can't help but lean into him. His eyes are surprised by my movement, I can tell. He doesn't understand why a happily married woman would respond this way. I can't hold back anymore. I stand on the tips of my toes and reach my lips for his. We kiss. It feels different than I thought it ever would. I need him more than the air I breathe. He shivers. We shiver together. I deepen the kiss. Somehow we make it to the couch on the other side of the room. It's much too small for this but it will do. Our need drives us and we give into it, into one another. For the first time in my life I feel like I'm alive, like my heart isn't cold. When it's done I hate myself but I can't deny the pleasure. I hate myself even more.

"This was a mistake" I say as I struggle to get my clothes on as quickly as possible. I tell myself that I it can't happen again, that I don't want it to happen again. I'm a terrible liar. Just looking at him torments and tempts me.

"I've never wanted anyone the way I want you" he says reaching for me again.

"Darien" I say as I pull away. "I'm married" I say.

"You don't love him" he says stubbornly. He's the kind of man that doesn't give up. Andrew would have already apologized and fled but not Darien. He's going to get to the truth.

"I made my vows" I say. "It doesn't matter if I love him or not. Till I met you I didn't think I was capable of love" I say. I regret it instantly because his dark eyes soften. He understands, he knows, he feels the same way.

"I thought the same" he says. This time I let him touch me. "I'm not asking for much" he says after a beat. "We need to get it out of our systems. We need to finish this."

"Alright" I say. I agree. I don't know what else to do so I agree. I know Andrew won't suspect anything. He trusts me and this will be over before I know it. We will forget one another once we've had enough. I lie when I agree to it. These terms won't be enough. I know even before I jump into, I know I will want more. I shiver thinking of what the future will bring.

I bring home the divorce papers. I sign them and leave them on the table. Andrew doesn't understand. His blue eyes are shocked. He tries to argue with me but I won't have it. He asks if it's another man. I say no even though I'm lying. I haven't even begun anything with Darien and already I can't stand to be with Andrew. I don't know how to tell him that I never loved him so I say nothing. I tell him we married too young and that he'll find someone better, more suited for him. He cries a little. I don't.

Days at work are too short. The divorce is over before I know it. Darien doesn't understand why I had to do it. I don't explain. He doesn't really care. We fall into one another at night, lost to the world. I love him. I don't know how to say it, it doesn't matter if I do. Finally, after a lifetime of loveless relationships I've fallen in love with a man who can't love me back. He doesn't promise me anything. I don't expect it. I'm content just being with him, however long that will last. He never pulls away. He never asks me to either. Within six months we've married. He tells me he loves me and I believe him. The first time we're together as man and wife I finally feel complete. I tell him I'm happy and for the first time in my life, I don't lie.


End file.
